Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Fear of The Sexual Women

Sex. An electric trigger for some and for others a flood of images overtake the senses when you mention the word.  Is sex a weapon?  Is sex used for manipulation? For power?  Or is it a form of exploration of the limitations of intimacy?  It's elevation or abasement seems to have been riddled through out the ages in art, war, and the control of how societies differ in accepting or rejecting the very act that women have been so central to.  Many people run away from the topic.  Others are told by certain belief systems that to enjoy sex, you are then an unworthy or unholy creature. 
Just the sight of an uncovered woman has been said to cause men to be weak, cause them to take irrational actions in their lives, or worse, cause them to fall into the deepest pits of desire.  All of this self hatred caused by rigid thinking 'flesh', and so I decided to at least address our human nature and wonder why women are the cause of so much scorn amongst the male population.  They want the illusions of innocence and yes, society pushes those illusions to create a false image of what 'love' is.  One myth a lot of women struggled with was the requirement to love the person they were in an intimate relationship with.  The vulnerable nature of sex, for both genders has often been something of a comedy of gymnastic positions that range from the animalistic enjoyment of our physical drives to the depth of human connection interlaced with the depth of a tantric kundalini experience that the west tries to capture from eastern practices.  One might argue that the very suppression of sex inhibits the opening of our root chakra and stagnates our ability to connect all of our energy points within our bodies.  Just give it some thought.  If we deny one part of our body we reject the whole of our being and imprison ourselves.  The church knows this.
However, society seems to take in stride in some cultures an openness about sexuality that stirs the hearts and imaginations of those that indulge their pleasures to the maximum effect.  We study sex, hide it, display it, ignore it or acknowledge that we all are products of a sexual union.  Some are controlled by their appetites and yet others fear the surrender of their body over to another.  Others claim they are free, while others are enslaved by negative attitudes or fear of it.

What I have often observed is an extraordinary massive amount of hatred towards the subject because of fear (family, social, religious).  We tend to fear the discovery and yet be driven by the impulse.   For those who are embarrassed to talk about the subject, we socially engineer through books and movies to know what is or isn't acceptable.  A woman's heart and character are judged by the relationships she establishes, whereas a man, by the number of virgins he deflowers along the way.

And yet we call it ruining a woman's reputation, holding up a virgin as a standard.  Not that there is anything wrong with virginity, but a woman ought to have full knowledge of herself in all aspects before she surrenders herself to an institution like marriage.  We continue to foster this fantasy through our myths and fairy tales.  

There is also the great question as to why the churches chose to elevate money over the nature.  It wasn't out of any sort of divine writings that the Catholic Church chose to abolish the institution of marriage for their priests and nuns.  They made all of the men and women that chose to serve surrender their choice to marry in order to preserve the wealth of the churches, to prevent claims from the children of priests in the 11th century.  It was all a matter of property and power to centralize wealth and authority. 

The denial of human nature (and the need to be touched) manifested itself in numerous sexual problems, and only further created the very problems that exist in the Catholic church.  Sexual abuse of the very people they were sent to minister to and then creating the lies to try to hide the very existence of these problems.  Children and women were the victimized throughout the world.  The endless stream of victim reports has been compared to a witch hunt by the papacy seems laughable in light of the bloody history of the church throughout the ages to deify a man who was just trying to tell people to love others as they loved themselves.

But apparently, no one got the memo, and instead decided to create religions that divided us along the way.  The truth will always be simple, clear and concise.  There is nothing wrong with sex, nothing to fear about it.  We just make it that way and hate the woman who enjoys it.  Just think of it this way gentlemen, wouldn't you rather be in bed with a woman who enjoyed being pleasured by you and giving pleasure to you instead of being afraid of your touch?

Now, we might be getting somewhere...for the sexual union was never meant to be a place of fear, but a place of love.


  1. hmm i am currently in a tantric yoga school and these subjects come up frequently in my mind...sometimes i wonder if they are using sex just to make money off the yoga...doesn't really feel like a true tantric school and that power of sex when it isn't coming from love but from manipulation is a most disturbing thing disturbing in fact, that i would rather not even bother with the sex anymore...if there is no love then what is the point of sex?

  2. It bothers me so much that sex is so misused and misrepresented in our world. Children grow up with mistaken ideas about sex before it should even cross their minds. I am so grateful for my (relative) healthy view of sex. I love sex, always have and always will. I love pleasuring someone I love and sharing and communicating in that way. It can be the height of intimacy and connection. I really believe it should only be shared in love and agreement. It's something that can, potentially, be so healing. It's truly sad that it is the cause of so much pain.

  3. It was never meant to be the cause of so much pain. There are many women who have been raped, put into child-bride marriages, or forced into prostitution. Often, those first encounters of forced intimacy that turned into acts of violence and not love, causing many women to disassociate themselves...unable to get to that moment of joy to lower the value of what the sexual union was meant to be. The killing of the heart...which should make us throw away our judgmental eyes and see all of our gender in a new light. To put us back into balance and not be mere objects but women once again.


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